Pictures first, rambling follows.....
Tasty summer.
Relaxing time.
My work friends.
Kittenshirt-owl case-duckface-bathroom-selfie....
"Are you gonna be my new daddy?" -Mimi
L-O-V-E
The bikini body.
Togetherness. And coke.
I feel like it`s the first summer I can enjoy since I was 17. I am alive again!
It`s totally overwhelming and weird in a way.I`m not even sure, how to tell you guys all that`s happened to me in the past weeks.
Well, my body was kind of screwed up. I had an iron deficiency. Got it refilled iv. From that I had a reaction with fever and all that bad stuff.
Then a week later, I got the stomach flue. For the first time in 11 years.
I missed a lot of work.
But then. Suddenly, something changed.
I was beginning to feel like ironwoman:). My energy was back. I didn`t feel so drained and hyper sensitive all the time.
I enjoyed working. I had fun.
I worked at a festival. It was hard work, I was scared at first, that I coudln`t do it. But I could and it was awesome! Made me feel SO strong and normal. I was feeling more like my real self, every day.
Then, 4 weeks ago a guy came along.
We first met in febuary or march. I was recently broken up. There was something there. You know, with certain people you just click from the beginning. We had fun, got to know eachother a bit. But that was it.
Then in July, he came back to work at the restaurant, I work at.
From the first moment on, it was like: BOOOOOM!
But I was scared as hell. I tried to press everything down. To not let myself fall for him.
I was scared to get hurt. I was doubting my self. I was doubting if that could be working out, cause he is younger than me.
But I just couldn`t help it.
There were two days, where I almost wrecked my brain.. My heart felt what it felt. My gutt told me what to do. But my mind wouldn`t let me. I was too scared.
There was lots of flirting, lots of texting, he was totally sure that he wanted to be with me.
That scared me even more.
But, what is life, without risk?
Nothing.
I was in a relationship for 6.5 years. I was single for 5 months. There isn`t a right time. If you wanna find a problem, you`ll find one.
But, you can also take a risk and let yourself live....and just see where it takes you.
So that`s what I decided to do.
And life just completely sucked me in.
I feel like a new person. But still so ME.
I just do stuff, I haven`t done in years.
Why?
Because it`s worth it. I`m worth it. He`s worth it.
I have found someone to laugh with, to be silly, to talk, to argument, to cuddle, to go on adventures with......Someone who truly cares and wants to protect me 24/7.
I feel so happy and calm inside.
I feel like he woke me up to live again....
I can`t describe the deep, deep happiness, trust and love I feel.
It`s just here.
I am soaking up every little bit of this time. It`s summer. I can finally go out again. I can go swimming, to the cinema, basically everything I want.
Sure, I still get anxiety. But it`s worth it.
I don`t wanna miss more of my life.
I`m not a girl, that thinks she can`t live without a boyfriend, don`t get me wrong.
But I am a huge believer of love.
I think when you are ready and at peace with yourself love can happen and have a HUGE impact on your life.
And it really just happens.
Don`t force it.
There he is, that hot portuguese guy with the sweetest puppy eyes. Crazy jealous, crazy loving and crazy protective.
I feel like a princess.
And he just accepts and loves me how I am.
I think that`s the greatest gift you can get.
I`m so thankful to be experiencing everything again. I somehow got out of my cage.
I can breathe and live.
And I`m still my sensitive, concerned BUT happy, funny, quirky, dreamy and impulsive self.
That`s what matters.
So, to all of you out there. Anxiety or not.
Trust your fucking gutt. Go for it!
Don`t hide.
Go outside and live!
I love you guys,
Sara<3
