Life with anxiety lately...

My anxiety and I mostly live a life of A"friendship". By that I mean, I really try to accept it and take it with me whereever I go. Because it wont leave, so I have no other option than to just be ok with it.

But then there are these times, where it just fucking annoys me and makes me m i s e r a b l e !

I had the worst panic attack on thursday evening, that lasted like 3.5 hours....That`s hard work, I can tell you. Going through waves of panic, feeling like you`re gonna loose your mind....and nothing that normally helps, helped. 

So I eventually just gave in and waited for it to be over....

Unfortunately, it`s not over with one attack. For days it makes me feel like shit. I`m scared I will get another bad one, I just feel so controlled by anxiety.

It makes me angry! 

I can`t do my normal routines...I don`t feel satisfied. I just want to sleep all the time.

That state is actually worse than the actual attack. Because you feel like it`s not gonna go away.

And it wont...

Until you get up and pull yourself together again.

I could easily loose myself in selfpitty for days, or even weeks.

Why do I have to deal with this?

Why can`t I just feel good?

When is this nightmare gonna stop?

And so on....

Eventually, I can see that I am stopping myself to get out of this state of mind...

Of course I feel bad, when I don`t eat right. Of course I feel tired, when I sleep to much. Of course I can`t sleep at night, when I slept during the day. Of course I feel shitty, when I don`t do stuff that I love. Of course I feel lonely, when I just hide inside my appartment.

So, what should I do now?

Yes, pick up the pieces....


So, I`m gonna dress myself in something pretty, eat healthy again, read inspiring things, go outside and move!


Just try to accept that you had a shitty few days, and start having better ones!


Hugs,

Sara